Be who you want your daughter to be

I don't know about you; however I am really anticipating having kids especially a daughter. I might not be obsessing about the getting married and wedding stuff right now at least; however I am not chickening out of the kids part, I am actually looking forward to it. When I thought about it, I felt like having a kid means that you have a chance in building a life to an individual who's going to be an effective member of the society. I don't want to create just another minion to push around society accepted phases. I am sure I am not going to put my kids on the boring side of life. It's unhealthy to let your kids do stuff and let them think about certain things by controlling them; however it's healthy to put values that lead them on how to act and think.

As a mom, you're in first place a leader. Being a leader has got to happen with leading by example, meaning you will want your daughter to be the best then it's only fair you yourself be the best, try it out and prove to yourself that if you can; then your daughter will do it even better. This might sound a little bit selfish; however this is the part where we discuss everything that will affect your own life and character.

Hygiene and Health 

Your body is a temple that holds your mind and soul. What do we do with a temple, we take care of it.
This might be a little obvious, since we all have a mistaken perception of both terms. Hygiene doesn't mean a shower every 2 days and that's it. It means keeping your body clean meaning your nails; hair, teeth, skin and body parts are clean. Go for Moroccon and Turkish baths, get your body waxed regularly, file and clean your nails, brush your teeth and make sure your hair is getting enough attention. Make sure your skin is hydrated and clean so you won't have any dry skin or break outs. Always smell nice, that doesn't mean getting perfumed, but it means eliminating bad odors. Nobody will take care of you like you will take care of yourself. You may not take care of yourself just for someone, because it means that you will stop caring for yourself as soon as they are gone.

 Being healthy means you need to maintain body functioning as it was meant to be. Take care of your food; don't treat your body as a waste basket every time you get depressed or sad or even happy you go throwing all kinds of food in it. Know your body intakes needs and fulfill it with food. Drink your god damn milk and eat the god damn cheese, your bones need that calcium. Keep your weight healthy, don't pursue anorexia or bulimia just to follow stupid magazines and don't call obesity curves. Try your luck with sports, if you're not enjoying any; then commit to workout classes and gym.  You want to depend on your body then help your muscles stand by you when you need them in running, hiking, cycling, pregnancy and giving birth. Check for cancer if you have a history in the family.

Habits

Smoking looks cool; however you know it will end up in making your teeth yellow, your lips dark and your lungs almost black. Alcohol might affect your decision making with empty calories, wasted money and dangers to your liver and stomach; eliminating it or keeping it to minimum would be the best way to go. Giving in for bad habits can lead to addiction, any kind of it. You can be addicted to shopping, smoking, alcohol, gossip, dating bad guys, food, depression, excessive partying, drugs, etc … its human nature to get addicted; there is nothing wrong with that. You can beat it, not by resisting temptation, rather with replacing it. Chances are, you already have 2-3 bad habits that you need to eliminate by personal determination and replacing your habits. Keep the cigarette box in your bag and don't smoke it, go to a dessert shop and order of the kids' menu and if you need professional help, don't be ashamed of it.

Replace your bad habits with good ones, cleaning and organizing is a good habit; god knows how much our closets and bed rooms need that habit to be acquired by is. Learn new things like a new language, driving, cooking, making jewelry, playing an instrument, etc ... You can replace your bad habits with spiritual habits, meditating, praying and reading your holy book; understand it. Reading is the best habit you can acquire; it will enrich your mind. Personally I would add to reading; watching documentary movies and doing research.

Confidence 

Seriously if you feel good about your body, mind and soul, you have got a clean well groomed healthy body, you control your habits, you read and pray; why would you feel low self-esteem? I have come to the conclusion that we get low self-esteem because we compare ourselves to others. She has longer hair, he has a better car, she went to a better college, he has a better job, she got engaged and I didn't, his parents aren't divorced, she is slimmer than me, he has more friends than me, etc … I would have to quote Randy Pouch on that and say "don't compare yourself to others, you have no idea what their journey is all about". 

I have a personal experience with this; I met this girl and I thought she was gorgeous, really popular, good family and attended a reputable college. Frankly I was jealous, then I got to know her a little bit and I found out that her parents forced her to study something she didn't like to study which made her not study what she wanted at first place. That girl had her parents force her to change her career one more time. When I saw her husband, I felt that he was shallow; I thought to myself maybe she like him and that's when it stroke me. I didn't want to be married to a shallow guy, I wouldn't let my parents force me to study or work something I hate. Also if she's happy with the guy that I know I can never be happy with; then she might be not happy with the skinny body or tanned skin she's got.

Intelligence

Stop playing dumb for the sake of the society, some guys will be attracted to you by playing dumb; however these aren’t the type of guys you want to have in your life no matter how hot, cute, smart, funny, rich, caring, romantic they might seem to be. The guy that you will meet and won't be scared of your intelligence is the guy you would consider sharing your life with. I have met a girl before who told me that she will need to get into a good college so she can land a good groom, ended up marrying a guy who was interested in her body more than her mind and flash news sweetheart, your body can be ruined. Be smart for yourself not for someone else.

Emotional intelligence and social intelligence is the kind that will let you deal with people wisely. Put yourself in their shoes, abusing someone emotionally can put you in a stronger position and it won't make you a considerate person. Social intelligence is knowing how to deal with everybody based on his background and your rules, no judgment and no ivory tower. 

Strength and independence

Sometimes we start playing the weak part in life, just to get attention or maybe just to follow the society sick illusion of relating weakness to femininity. Being weak will make you crippled and even if you're pretending to be weak it might end up owning you. God knows, how much pumps you will meet in your road, breakups, failing courses, getting fired, quitting jobs, getting stabbed in the back, losing friends, divorce, parents' death, money loss, sickness, etc … If you are weak going through these you will ruin your life or lose a very precious thing "Time". Take time to review your loss and move on. Always stand up for yourself and don't let others run over you. Know your worth and let it drive you by being strong.

Know how to feed yourself, pay your bills and take care of yourself. Being independent doesn't mean living isolated, it means that you have self-reliance. The least is you can acquire all what you need for survival by yourself, don't be a daddy's/ mommy's girls. She knows where your panties are and you have no idea or He knows how much your car costs and you just send the driver to refill gas. Get off your butt. Don't wait for a sugar daddy to give you what you need, he'll ask for something in return and chances are you wouldn't like it. Being independent you can help people you care about, it might take time and effort; however I promise it will be worth it. When you are true independence you will find someone to share your life with based on respect, affection and passion not based on needs and wants.

Individuality, Persistence and Courage 

You are yourself; don't copy someone else just because the sugar coating looks good. I have seen girls ignoring their dreams just because it wasn't accepted by society or their parents didn't like it or their husbands thought it wasn't good enough. If you are smart, independent, strong and confident; chances are you have a dream that makes you who you are and you will create your personal legend. Don't follow trends that doesn't complement your figure or go with your code of ethics. The uniqueness of your character is the flavor to you and being flavorless is a very bitter way to live.

If you want something badly enough, you will get it done; not matter what. You might think you will be stopped because, ahh it's too late I am old, I am not good looking enough, not tall enough, not smart enough, not experienced enough, not fit enough, etc… Stop these sick society imposed hallucinations. If you decided to succeed you will. That doesn't only apply to career and study or even dieting, it applies to even relationships. If you've got a good partner and the sky gets rough, you know you're worth fighting for and if you think he's the one; he's probably worth fighting for as well. Persist in solving problems till you get it fixed, don't give up even when it seems that the world is up against you, stand strong and keep fighting. 

"Courage isn't the absence of fear, rather the judgment there is something more important than fear" Have guts!! Always ask why? It takes guts to ask why can't we do that or why are we doing that, it's a noble thing to face yourself and face people. Be brave, if you want to travel and see the world then do it, if you want to marry that guy then marry him, if you want the tell your boss the truth go up and talk to them, want to face a person who's 10 times bigger than you do it. Say /Do it like your life depends on it, know the ramifications and be ready to face them because there is a difference between a fool and a brave. Don't wait for someone to push you, most of us are self-motivated; even if people motivate you; it takes an inner power to do something.  Stand up for what you believe in and do it.